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Blatantly copied from siobhan_1 's journal:

This was too good for my geek friends to miss :)
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With apologies to Steven Sondheim:
From Star Wars, The Musical: Episode 5, The Empire Strikes Back

Send in the Clones
(yes, yes, I know they’re Storm Troopers but then this filk doesn’t work)

Setting Hoth:

Setting: Darth Vader entering rebel base
Darth Vader: Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air (spoken aside: well, up on that ATAT).
Send in the clones.

Setting: Interior, ATAT walker, which is blasting away at the force shield generator
General Veers: Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move (scene cut: ATAT legs being tangled by snowspeeder harpoon)
Where are the clones?
Send in the clones.

Setting: Rebel base flight bay, Vader watching Millenium Falcon depart
Darth Vader: Just when I'd stopped
Opening doors,
Finally knowing
The one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again
With my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.

Setting: X-wing, interior
Luke: Don't you love farce?
My fault, I fear.

Setting: Bridge, Millenium Falcon
Leia: I thought that you'd want what I want -

Setting: X-wing, interior
Luke: Sorry, my dear. (spoken aside: R2. We’re going to the Dagobah system.)

Setting: Bridge of Executor. Vader stands facing viewscreen showing asteroid field
Darth Vader: But where are the clones?
There ought to be clones.
Quick, send in the clones. (spoken aside: Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship.)

TIE fighters can be seen flying into the asteroid field in pursuit of Millenium Falcon.

Setting: On board Executor, in Vader’s private quarters, receiving message from Palpatine
Palpatine (spoken): There is a great disturbance in the force

Vader: What a surprise.

Palpatine (spoken): We have a new enemy: Luke Skywalker

Cut to image of Luke Skywalker landing on Dagobah

Vader: Who could foresee
I'd come to feel about you
What you'd felt about me?

Cut back to Vader’s quarters

Vader (spoken): He’s just a boy. Obi-Wan can no longer help him.

Palpatine: The Force is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi.

Cut to Dagobah scene where Luke is tested facing Vader

Vader: Why only now when I see
That you'd drifted away?
What a surprise.
What a cliché.

Cut back to Vader’s quarters
Vader (spoken): He will join us or die, my Master.


Cut to Bespin, Cloud City, emergency platform, Vader faces Luke in lightsaber duel, Luke has lost his hand as Vader stands over him

Vader: Isn't it rich? Isn't it queer?

Vader (spoken): Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke (spoken): He told me enough. He told me you killed him!

Vader (spoken): No, I am your father.

Luke screams in denial and as Vader approaches, throws himself down the shaft. Vader stands above, arm outstretched

Vader: Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clones?
Quick, send in the clones.
Don't bother - they're here.

(Fade out to Vader’s voice saying, “Son, come with me…”)